White and Nerdy
by CarpeDiemEveryday
Summary: May, Drew, and Brendan run into each other at the gym. Read to learn more! HoennShipping, one-sided ContestShipping. Oneshot


**Hello! This fic involves me doing two things that are kind of unusual for me: deviating from ContestShipping (at least for May) and, gasp!, slightly bashing Drew! But I can explain both away. One, I'm actually okay with a couple of the MayXNotDrew ships (though, oddly enough, DrewXNotMay just doesn't cut it for me...), and two, I can bash Drew if it makes me laugh. And this did.**

**I have no clue where this oneshot came from, but it's dedicated to the solitary admitted HoennShipper who reads "The Man Who Can't Be Moved". I might have posted this as May and Drew, but then I'd get a lot of angry reviewers... not pretty. So, on with the Disclaimer:**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Pokemon or the parody song "White and Nerdy" (respectively belonging to Satoshi Tajiri and 'Weird Al' Yankovic). Oh, and I have no say over the song "Ridin'" by Chamillionaire, which gets briefly referenced as the song parodied. I also don't own any gyms or exercise equipment. Happy? Knew you would be, now read!

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**White and Nerdy

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May was at the gym, jogging on the treadmill. She had been at it for twenty minutes, eyes glued to the TV, trying to read the closed captions (this was necessary as there were several TVs, and in any case, none had sound since the gym played music for its patrons). Reading them was a task made even more difficult by the apparent ineptitude of the stenographer, who misspelled half the words and sometimes even retyped words, to the point where the subtitles were several minutes behind the actual programming.

"Ugh, why can't the stupid caption people write faster?" May snarled as she missed a crucial bit of dialogue in the drama she was watching.

"Maybe it's because the poor people are trying to write it while it's being shown live," a familiar voice said. May gasped and turned around, accidentally triggering the auto-stop on the treadmill. While this handy feature did prevent our favorite brunette from flying backwards into a row of elliptical machines, it did nothing to stop her from continuing to run and smacking into the front of her treadmill, knocking the wind right out of her system. Gasping again, though this time from a lack of oxygen, she turned to face her rival, Drew, dressed in workout gear himself. And, of course, his customary smirk.

"Oh, I'm sorry, did I take your breath away?" he asked cockily, raising an eyebrow at May, who was making sounds reminiscent of a fish out of water. Seeing as she couldn't respond, he flicked his hair and said, "I'll take that as a yes. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have weights to lift." He strode past, but not before plunking a crimson rose in his rival's water bottle.

May finally got her breath back and huffed, turning back to her treadmill. She then noticed the rose. "Ugh, now my water's going to taste all… plant-y!" Muttering to herself, she unclipped the auto-stop from her shorts pocket and jogged up the stairs to the water fountain. Clenching the end of the rose between her teeth, the brunette dumped her tainted water down the drain and refilled it. She was about to return to her exercises (not to mention her show), when a voice stopped her.

"Hey, May, is that you?" She turned to see her friend Brendan Birch standing near her, also clearly dressed for a workout and, unusually for him, not wearing his signature white hair-like hat.

"Brendan! Hi, yeah, it's me!" She went to hug him, then stopped. "Oh, sorry. Kind of sweaty."

He shrugged. "It's okay. So, are you here for a workout? Or," he added, noticing the rose clamped between her teeth, "maybe you're just here for 'moral support'?"

May realized what he was insinuating. "Oh, no, no, it's nothing like that! My jerk rival just _happened_ to be here, and he enjoys doing stupid things like putting shrubs in my drinking water." She sighed. "Well, got to get back to my workout!" She jogged back down the stairs, Brendan following at a slower rate.

Luckily for May, this little diversion had all happened during a commercial break, so she hadn't missed anything important. May resumed her workout, groaning a little as one of her least favorite songs came on. Her eyes were back on her show, but in her peripheral vision, she noticed Brendan starting up the treadmill next to her, as well as Drew in the corner, holding dumbbells and doing sit-ups. She was a little surprised by both of them; Brendan was usually more of a bicyclist and, well, she'd never really connected Drew with exercise at all.

_Maybe someone told him he was getting a little flabby, _she thought, then smirked in a passable imitation of Drew's. _Oh, wait, I think that someone was me. Tee hee._

She might have pondered over the fact that Drew had taken that little jibe seriously, except suddenly, her least favorite song had ended, to be replaced with-

"YES!!!" May squealed, part of her glad that it was only her, Brendan and Drew, another part embarrassed that she'd squealed really loudly in front of her crush… and another guy.

Drew paused in his sit-up routine. "Hey, wait, is 'Ridin'' on?" he asked. But then he listened to the lyrics and made a weird face. "Wait, what IS that? Huh, those aren't the words…" He sat puzzled for a minute, but then the penny dropped. "Wait, what? Why are they playing 'Weird Al' Yankovic in the gym? That song is so stupid!"

Now Drew has several things he should work on in life. One could be his people skills, seeing as he doesn't seem to understand that being a Sour Patch Kid is not in any way endearing to anyone (except maybe May, who's weird like that). But the most pertinent lesson Drew had to learn was to not to diss the genius that is 'Weird Al_'. Especially_ in front of May.

Perhaps all that jogging had paid off, because suddenly, the brunette was an inch away from the now-terrified Drew's face. "Never. Insult. "Weird Al". Yankovic. In. Front. Of. Me."

Somehow, maybe because it's his defense mechanism, Drew's cockiness kicked in. "Or what, you'll try and turn me into a pig with a pink umbrella?"

May was not amused. Turning from him, she strode back to her treadmill. Brendan had stopped his too, and was singing along under his breath. May stared at him. Noticing her gaze, he became self-conscious and blushed. "What? I'm a big fan of his!"

May still stared at him. "Really, you're not just saying that because-" she stopped, blushing too.

Brendan looked puzzled. "No, I like his parody stuff." Then, out of nowhere, borne on an adrenaline rush from jogging or maybe from the music, "but I like you more."

Brendan paled as his brain pointed out that he'd basically just confessed his feelings to May. "Uh, um…" he mumbled, trying and failing to… he wasn't even sure what he was trying to do.

May's eyes widened. "D-do you mean it?" she asked, eyes searching his face for some kind of joke.

"Uh…" Brendan began, then hung his head. "Yeah, I… I think I might even l-love you…" he mumbled.

The brunette blinked. "Wow."

Brendan blinked back the emotions welling behind his crimson eyes. "Uh, I should go now…" he muttered, unhooking himself from his treadmill and making for the stairs. His motions were halted by May's hand, which grabbed his, jerking him around and forcing him to make eye contact with her.

"You didn't let me finish," she observed. "And you might want to hear this." She took a deep breath, then continued. "You want to know what I think?"

Brendan nodded, dumbly.

She stepped slightly closer to him, not looking away from his dark red eyes. "I think that I don't want to roll with the gangsters anymore." As she spoke, she jerked the thumb of her free hand at her green-haired rival, who was apparently eavesdropping on this little soap opera.

May paused to allow Drew's voice to protest. "What, how am I a 'gangster'? What, is it the shorts? They're exercise shorts; I'm exercising! How am I a gangster???"

May resumed her little speech, despite the fact that Drew wasn't quite done whining. She drew even closer to Brendan, who was frozen in place. Which is not to say that he wanted to move. Not at all.

"No, I'm much happier being right here with White and Nerdy," she whispered, before wrapping her arms around his neck, this time not caring about sweat. He gazed down at her, and did the only thing he could.

Kiss her. Duh!

Drew dropped one of his weights on his foot in shock. Nothing broke, since he actually WAS out of shape and was lifting one-pounders, but that doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Brendan and May ignored him hopping up and down clutching his injured foot.

At last they broke apart. May smiled and brushed a stand of black hair out of Brendan's eyes. "For a first kiss, that was kind of smelly," she observed conversationally. "I expect better from you in the near future."

Brendan smiled back at her. "Is that your way of saying 'I love you, too, will you be my boyfriend'?"

She wrapped his arm around her shoulders, winking at him. "Maaaaaybe…"

Together they walked back out of the gym. Suddenly, Brendan stopped in his tracks. "Wait a sec, you think I'm white and nerdy?"

May glanced up at him. "Um… Kind of. But, don't worry," she added, kissing his cheek. "I like you better that way."

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Drew sat on the gym floor, the rose May had left gripped in his hands. His Pokemon were running amok with the workout equipment; Butterfree and Absol took turns getting shot off the treadmill, meanwhile Flygon was flying around with two hundred pounds clenched in his talons, Masquerain shadowing him with one of Drew's one-pound weights impossibly held in his… rhombi?

Roselia stood next to her master, watching in concern as he stripped petals from the poor rose. "She loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me, she loves me not, she loves me…" He was down to three petals. "She loves me not, she loves me, she loves me. She loves me! See, Roselia, May still loves me!"

Roselia was unimpressed. "Rose roselia liaaaaa!" _You totally cheated!_

He sighed and slumped his head against a rack of weights, somehow knocking another dumbbell down onto his foot.

"OWWWWWWW!"

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**If this fic was thought-provoking (oh, don't make me laugh...), you probably have a couple questions I can address here and now.**

**One: Do I honestly think Brendan's 'White and Nerdy'? Answer: Refer to May's answer. He just seems awkward to me sometimes, and in this fic 'specially.**

**Two: Why didn't cite that I don't own Harry Potter up top? Answer: Because I made a veeeery vague reference to it, I never said the two fatal words of copyright, and it would have spoiled the surprise.**

**Three: Uh, I don't have a question three. Answer: That wasn't a question, that was a confused statement, making this not really an answer, but a reply, which I suppose is actually an answer... yeah, this'll bring headaches if I keep this up. No more questions!**

**Yes, I know this fic was silliness all over, so don't review saying it was dumb. I know it was dumb. It's okay.**

**So I hope you liked it. I did, so much that I may have to write more HoennShipping... hm. So if you liked it, you have a way to tell me. Yep. Review. I've noticed that, if I somehow neglect to say this, people DON'T review! Bad! So be good and review, pretty please.  
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**Bye now,**

**CarpeDiemEveryday (not just somedays, everydays)  
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